The society we live in today champions self-sufficiency. “Make your own way, blaze your own trail.” The more independent of God, other people, and community in general, the better. Or is it? Here’s the deal. The more we decide that we must be on our own in this world, without any help, taking care of ourselves, the more truly alone we will feel. Self-reliance is really isolation.

Seth Barnes, visionary behind the World Race movement, has a quote in his book, ‘Kingdom Journeys’ that I really like:

“Our self-sufficiency is at odds with a God who wants to display his power through us... I try to be transparent about my brokenness. By allowing people to see my flaws, I find God uses them to set people free- free from comparison, free from needing to be perfect, and free from self-condemnation... Something has to die if people are ever to be set free. By sharing our weaknesses and failings, our own dignity may take a hit, but others are encouraged to consider themselves differently.”

Those of you who knew me in my early college days may raise an eyebrow at the fact that I’m doing this missionary thing now. Believe it or not, I didn’t have some wild epiphany, some dramatic shift in fate, or an undeniable audible voice from God. I had a still, small, and persistent tug on my heart that there’s something big in this world that God has for me, and I better press into it if I want to find out what that is. Why do you think it is that we hide our biggest failures? It’s the belly flops that make us feel unvalued, ashamed, and weak.

I’ll tell you a little secret- there’s a beautiful power and liberation in admitting we don’t have it all together all the time. Part of my story I’ll keep ‘long story-short.’ I didn’t take college very seriously when I started out. And I made a lot of choices that weren’t in my best interest. In fact, the firm foundation that I had when I left high school cracked, a lot. By the end of my sophomore year, I had been academically dismissed from Florida State University and had to redirect my route to the local community college. I felt pretty stupid, and quietly pushed through a year of Tallahassee Community College. I ended up graduating on the Dean’s List with my AA degree. It wasn’t the skill I was lacking, but the effort and application. And more importantly, better lifestyle choices. I was quickly readmitted to FSU, and graduated with my Bachelor’s degree this past December. And you know what? It felt a little sweeter and a lot more earned. 

The real bummer here (and moral of the story), though, is that I didn’t tell hardly anyone in my life about my school transitions. I let fear and shame dictate what I shared with people who would've loved me regardless. No one wants others to think they are unintelligent, incapable, inferior, or otherwise. However, by holding our failures in, we do ourselves and others a great disservice, thwarting the very connections we were created for: to be imperfect, human, mistake-making, and authentic together. We also create a false self for the world, limiting our freedom to be our truest selves in Christ. Sometimes our paths aren’t straight. They’re not perfect, cookie-cutter, Western society, white-picket-fence stories. I think that’s true for a lot of us, and even worse, we’re convinced we’re the only ones out of the bunch. The same principle of valuable vulnerability and community we are created for applies to way more than embarrassing academic stuff; it's for the real, the hard, the deep, and the painful stuff. 

Here’s my encouragement. Believe that the people around you want to be just as vulnerable, understood, and deeply known that you do. Odds are, they’re thinking that you won’t understand them or their failures either. God delights in our weakness. Not to say that he wants us to feel the shame, regret, loneliness or despair; however, His power, redemption, grace, and love are made perfect in our weakness. Admitting we are weak is what gives Him room to be our strength and give us immeasurable freedom to be human and dependent on Him.

There’s a story Jesus tells in the Bible about a man having 100 sheep. One gets away, and the man tirelessly searches for him, refusing to rest until he is found, while he aimlessly wanders. I think our human tendency is to assume that we are the one lost, dazed and confused, and everyone around us is the 99 sitting safely, successfully, and comfortably in their pen. The truth is, we are all that ONE, setting ourselves apart from the other 99 and running from the God who won’t stop searching until we are found. I’m the ‘one’ sheep, and chances are, so are you.

“For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save the lost.” Luke 19:10

References:

The Parable of the Wandering Sheep // Matthew 18:10-14 // Luke 15: 1-7

Kingdom Journeys- Seth Barnes p. 149-150